


This is Awkward

by clockwork_spider



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Confinement, Dysfunctional Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Vampire AU, not without effort though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14859029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_spider/pseuds/clockwork_spider
Summary: Soowon is a vampire who doesn’t seduce his victims. He just talks to them all friendly. After feeding he erases their memories.He met Jaeha at a bar and they hit off. He didn’t end up feeding on Jaeha because he wanted to continue the friendship. By the time he discovered Jaeha was a vampire hunter, it was too awkward for them to kill each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this AU for cheap drama. Don't expect a coherent plot. 
> 
> Everything is about as morally dubious as vampire AUs go so consider yourself warned. 
> 
> More of a collection of tiny snippets than a coherent narrative, but everything should be pretty self-explanatory
> 
> Story is set in a Small Kouka Town back in the 70s? Sometimes modern but not super technologically advanced.

At this point, Jeaha knows too much to just walk free. Even if Jaeha doesn’t kill him.

“You have three choices. First, stay here with us, with this coven. Second, I can turn you, and command you to never reveal our location, and you can go free once you adjust to your new life.” 

“And the third?”

Soowon shrugs with an awkward grimace.

“You don’t want to kill me,” Jeaha concluded, “otherwise you wouldn’t have told me.”

“I wanted to give you some options.”

“That’s…” Jeaha almost chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, “kind of sweet of you.”

Soowon smiled back, tensely.

Jaeha sighed.

“Guess I don’t have much of a choice.”

“I’m sorry,” Soowon said, “I know how much you value your freedom…” His voice trailed off.

“Well…” Jaeha sighed again, a defeated smile on his face, “I don’t really want to kill you either, little vampire.”

* * *

“You’re unhappy,” Soowon noted.

Jaeha shrugged with a smile. Of course he was unhappy cooped up on in a hotel surrounded by wary undeads trying to be hospitable. Why wouldn’t he be?

“Would it be that bad to be turned? You don’t seem to harbor hatred for me or my kind, and you enjoy traveling. Once you have an immortal body, you can go anywhere, and this will always be a home.”

“It’s not really freedom if I have you in my head, no? ‘Sides, I’ve made peace with my mortality.” 

“It doesn’t really work like that. I don’t have to be the one to turn you.”

Jaeha laughed at that. “You’re my friend, Won. If I don’t even trust you with my free will, why would anyone else be better?”

Soowon looked away, slightly flustered. There were often moments like this, effortlessly sweet and sad at the same time. He didn’t know how to deal with these. 

“If you leave, and we never see each other again, then I won’t be able to reach you. That way I won’t interfere with your freedom beyond protecting this coven.”

Jaeha shook his head. “I also don’t want to hunt humans for survival.”

“We don’t really kill people. We don’t pick the same prey consecutively. No one has died in this town from vampire attack in years.”

“Even still,” Jaeha sighed, “humans are not livestock, Soowon. You’re still stealing their blood without their consent.” 

Soowon frowned and bit his lips, an oddly human habit. “You’re right, of course. We need to work on that.” 

“Work on that?”

“Our goal is to make this town into a sanctuary where humans and vampires can co-exist.” 

“That’s a bit idealistic, don’t you think?” Jaeha asked. 

“Even if you and I can be friends?” Soowon asked back, there was the twinkle in his eyes that Jaeha had grown too fond of. 

“Yet you lock me in a hotel room,” Jeaha teased, striking a pose and unbuttoning his shirt, “what do you plan to do to your dear friend, hm?”

Soowon paused. 

“Let’s go out,” he offered. 

* * *

“How old are you, anyway?” 

“I’m 21”

“And how many years have you been 21?”

“3 months.” 

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not at all,” Soowon chuckled, “It’s only been a bit over 3 years since I’ve turned.” 

Jaeha could tell Soowon was young, but he didn’t actually expect Soowon to be younger than him. “How did you become the leader of this coven?”

“We killed my maker.”

“…”

“You’re not joking.”

“I wouldn’t joke about something like that,” Soowon said. 

“And the others were fine with it?”

“He wasn’t very popular.” 

“Right…”

“It was…” Soowon looked away, “It had to be done.” 

He didn’t elaborate, so Jaeha didn’t push. 

* * *

“How did you become a hunter? If you don’t mind me asking.” Soowon asked, “I know you said it lets you travel, but you’d have to gain the affiliation first.”  

“I was saved by one.” 

“Oh…” 

“The people that kept me, I think it was a cult of a sort? There was a vampire, but he was always very sad. I think he was quite relieved when they killed him.”

“…”

“Imagine, my milky white, supple body, bound by chains, open to the merciless assault of adults in a cage day after day!” Jaeha swooned dramatically, wiping away a fake tear. 

Soowon has gone eerily still, his expression was schooled blank as he backed a few steps away. 

“I’m sorry, Jaeha, I can’t allow you to leave,” he was clearly struggling, his eyes downcast. He was…  _distracted._  

“I’ve survived then, and if I am to be honest, I don’t ever want to go back to that,” Jaeha continued. He could try to knock him over with a kick, steal his pistol. Soowon was only a young vampire, he’s killed older ones, stronger ones. He didn’t want to kill Soowon, though. 

“I’ll live,” Jaeha said, closing the distance between and patting Soowon’s head instead, “Between my life and my freedom, I’d chose my life. But you’d die before allowing anything to harm the Coven,” 

Soowon just nodded. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Jaeha first met Soowon, he thought, _If this pretty blond asks me to go somewhere private, he’s a vampire._

Towards the end of the night, Soowon never made a single move on him, despite laughing at all his jokes and being a great listener.

“Hey,” Jaeha offered instead, “why don’t you come to my hotel room, where we can get more comfortable.”

The young man blinked, seemingly surprised, before giving a polite and flustered refusal.

_Huh…_

On the second time they met, Soowon still didn’t ask him out. Instead, he asked Jaeha more about his trip to Xing, his eyes shone with curiosity. It was incredibly endearing.

“I’ve always wanted to travel,” Soowon said.

“You should.”

“Hah… well… I have a business here I need to take care of,” he said, and didn’t elaborate.

A glimpse of fang here, a trick of the light there, by the sixth time they met, Jaeha was completely certain that Soowon was definitely a vampire. What he didn’t understand was why the vampire repeatedly engaged in conversation with him without going for his blood.

Since Jaeha wasn’t going to stand by as innocent town folks get preyed upon, he decided to investigate the local archives for missing persons. Later, he would learn that the very human local librarian, Minsoo, was part of the Coven.

* * *

The Coven operates a hotel, and has a deal with the local hospital.

Their town is near an airport, and thus a travel stop for tourists and overlay flights. The vampires would steal small amount of blood from visiting tourists staying at the hotel, barely enough for the visitors to notice a slight light-headedness. Aside from their own clients, a few of them still pick people up in bars.

The small town has well over 30 vampires, and a quarter of the town’s population are aware of this. The Coven itself has, to Jaeha’s surprise, quite a large number of humans. Most of them were friends and family of one of the vampires.

The youngest member of the Coven was Tae-Yeon, a six years old child who was turned when he was dying.

“Isn’t that…” There were some moral implications to this, “He’ll eventually age beyond his appearance.”

“Which is more years than he had if we had let him die,” answered the oldest vampire. “Death is rarely a choice when you’re mortal.”

* * *

“We told Soowon it’s safer to get rid of you, but he won’t listen,” the vampire named Keishuk said.

“I’m… glad?” Jaeha raised an eyebrow. He knew where this was going, and it almost sounded funny. “Wait, are you going to tell me that I’ll be chained and whipped if I ever break his heart?”

“Wh-No,” Keishuk sputtered, “No! It’s not Soowon’s feelings we’re concerned about-“

“Wow. Cold.”

“It’s his safety, and the safety of this Coven.”

“Okay. Sounds reasonable.”

“Soowon has made us promise not to harm you unless you try to make contact with your associates, run, or harm anyone in the Coven. If you do, there won’t be any chains or whip, just a bullet to the head.”

“Aw, no kinky time?”

Jaeha was met with the flattest stare.

“Are you sure you can handle me?” Jaeha winked.

“Hah.” Keishuk said, with no hint of amusement whatsoever, “Probably not. But _he_ can.”

They looked over to Joodoh, the human, who paused what he was doing to give a nod of affirmation.

“Great, this certainly makes me feel very welcomed and not at all like a prisoner.”

“You’re a smart man. Best not to fool ourselves. Coffee?”

“Black, no sugar, cause I’m plenty sweet enough~”

“If you want to blame anyone for this arrangement, blame Soowon. If it were up to me, you’d be buried underground already. I don’t know what kind of sorcery you used to seduce him-”

“Seduce him? I’ve made eight passes to him in the past week and they all flew right over his head! Oh thanks!” Jaeha took the coffee.

Keishuk paused and squinted.

“You know vampires don’t have sex, right?”

“What? Now I just feel silly.”

“What kind of expert are you?”

“The type that doesn’t have sex with people I intend to kill?”

Keishuk just squinted harder.

“Hey Joodoh, as a fellow human-“

“No.”

“You didn’t let me finish my sentence.”

“I don’t want to hear it.“

* * *

“Honestly, what’s the point of immortality if you don’t follow your heart once in a while?”

Keishuk looked at him like it was the dumbest question he’d ever heard. “Immortality,” he just said, as if that was self-explanatory.

Jaeha supposed it was.

* * *

 

“If you can travel anywhere in the world, where would you like to go?”

Soowon blinked, “I guess I’d travel around.”

“Yeah, but where would you go first?”

“Mount Everest, maybe?”

“That’s… difficult, little vampire. You may be immortal, but I’m not. Besides, how are you suppose to get blood up there?”

“I guess I would be carrying some in bottles.”

“Nah, try another one.”

“North pole?”

Jaeha shook his head with fond exasperation. “With how much you love people, I’d think you’d be interested in civilization.”

“I am! But you said anywhere. So I thought I’d go for something more exciting… What about you, then? Is there anywhere that you haven’t traveled that you’d like to go?” The question was out of his mouth before he could take it back. A soft hesitance hung in the air. Jaeha ignored it.

“Paris! City of looooove!” Jaeha answered.

“Love huh… that sounds nice. It sounds like you,” Soowon smiled.

“It’s a city rich in history, you’d love it there. Lots of museums.”

Soowon blinked, slowly, looking thoughtful.

“Then you should take me, someday,” he said.

Now it was Jaeha’s turn to stare.

“Yeah…” said Jaeha, “let’s do that.”

* * *

The most dangerous trait of Soowon is that he lulls you into a false sense of safety.

Being somewhat of a professional, Jaeha knew how to recognize the artificial charm exuded by vampires, the pull and the tug and the allure. Soowon’s was something different entirely. He doesn’t draw people in, instead, he gets closer, in the most casual, unassuming way, catching you with your guards down. It was easy to trust him. It applied to more than just his victims. Jaeha has seen the effect on of the Coven. Soowon was one of the youngest vampires of the Coven, yet everyone seemed to look to him for directions instinctively. 

It certainly worked on Jaeha.

There were days when Jaeha felt trapped, restless, when he itched to leave not because he needed to but because he couldn’t. But when he saw Soowon’s smile, he’d forget, and everything would seem okay until Soowon left.

It was suffocating.


	3. Chapter 3

“You should leave too,” Soowon told him.

There was a storm coming, and people were evacuating. 

In this day and age, it was difficult for Vampires to move en mass without arousing suspicion, especially considering they could only travel after sundown. The ones that could leave, left. The ones that couldn’t went into hiding.

“Are you leaving too?” Jaeha asked, letting his finger brush a strand of stray hair from Soowon’s cheeks.

Soowon smiled, fearless, confident, “I’ll stay. It’s only temporary. I want to make sure there’s still a place for them to return to once things quiet down again.”

Soowon was letting him go, and Jeaha wouldn’t be returning.

Gently, he leaned in and pressed his lips against the side of Soowon’s. “Stay safe,” he whispered. It was the last time he was going to see Soowon, and he took an extra moment to drink everything in, engrave Soowon’s face, the gentle features and sharp eyes, into his mind. He didn’t miss the way Soowon’s eyes widened, or the soft grip of Soowon’s hand on his arm, which loosened the moment after.

“Paris,” Soowon said.

Jaeha looked back. Perhaps he shouldn’t have looked back.

“We should go together, someday,” Soowon said, beckoned.

“Yeah,” Jaeha smiled and lied, “let’s do that.” Before turning his back.

_Please stay safe._

* * *

Jaeha spent the following year traveling, frantically hopping from one place to the next, fearing that if he stood still, he’d be tied down and trapped somehow, that Soowon would find him, and gently plead “don’t go.”

At first, he took a few odd jobs, the targets were newly turned vampires. Lost, confused, abandoned or separated from their makers. Those who didn’t know how to cover their tracks. He remembered Soowon’s Coven, and how young most of them were, Tae-yoen’s shy smile and Lily’s brutal honesty and Keishuk’s snark. If they had met Soowon, if they joined the Coven, perhaps things would be different.

It wasn’t long before he stopped hunting altogether. 

He didn’t return to the town. He thought about it. Thought about the golden hair and soft laughter and twinkling eyes.

But when Jaeha was younger, he had promised himself to never allow anyone to take away his freedom. 

* * *

He was taking a gulp of his morning soy milk in Suiko when he spotted Joodoh’s face. Immediately he turned to leave. It was too late, their eyes met already.

“Heyyyy, how’s things been going? I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just chase me down the street and grab me by the shoulders. How’s life?”

“You need to come with me.”

“No, actually, let’s catch up here, in public, where you won’t try to kidnap me. How’s everyone from the Coven? How’s Keishuk and Soowon?”

“The Coven’s scattered, Keishuk’s dead, Soowon is missing. Please come with me. Soowon needs your help.”

That was a lot of information to process at once.

“…Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you that I wrote this for cheap drama...


	4. Chapter 4

Much like humans, vampires have complicated politics. Unlike humans, who can wait for the older generation to die off, a shift in the vampiric political paradigm will almost always end in bloodshed.

“Soowon never wanted power for himself,” Joodoh explained, “he just wanted the people around him to live without fear.”

Whether that was true or not, many other vampires of Kouka didn’t think the same way. Some saw the rapidly expanding Coven as a threat. Some thought Soowon was building an army. One elder, Kan Soojin, decided to do something about — by leaking information to the Vampire Hunters Association.

 _How could you let them take him?_  He didn’t say.  _He’s probably dead._  He also didn’t say. If Joodoh could have done anything to prevent this, he probably would have. Jaeha had never been the one to blow up at others during crisis, and he wasn’t about to start.

“I won’t ask you to work for us, but help him. Only him,” Joodoh said, head bowed to the table in the small apartment. 

“You don’t suspect me, leaking the information?” Jaeha asked.

“You gave up your own freedom because you didn’t want to kill him. You won’t let him die.”

“I’ll call my connections. See what I can do.”

* * *

“Heyyyy Captain… you know how I quit because I fell in love with a vampire? Haha… No, I wasn’t bullshitting you. Yeah uh… He’s in trouble. Gold hair, looks 18, slim built, roughly my height, goes by Soowon… No, please, he’s only 22, he’s so… I know… I know… Don’t let him die. Please… Thank you. Thank you. I love you, Captain.”

* * *

Jaeha had to do a double take on what he was seeing. With bloodless blue lips and pasty skin, the Body strapped to the operation table looked like a corpse. A corpse with Soowon’s face.

When vampires die, they turn into dust. But Soowon had always looked so lively, so human. It was terrifying to see him this way. It made Jeaha’s heart ache.

“Won,” he called softly, afraid that the vampire wouldn’t wake up, wouldn’t respond.

Soowon’s eyes fluttered open, and Jaeha breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment, the vampire just stared at him, confused. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Thoughtlessly, Jaeha brushed a hand across Soowon’s face.

Soowon visibly stiffened at the touch.

Jaeha withdrew his hand.

“Listen, Won,” he summoned the gentlest voice he could muster, talking slowly, “I’m going to get you out of here. Joodoh is waiting outside in the car. I’ll untie you now.”

“…Jaeha?” Soowon’s voice was confused, weak, hoarse, “what are you…? You can’t, they won’t allow that.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m getting you out of here. It’ll be okay,” Jaeha answered, undoing the clasps, “can you stand?”

Evidently not, as it was a struggle for Soowon to sit up. He managed to get himself upright before plunging forward. Immediately Jaeha moved to steady him. Soowon froze, going completely still in his arms.

What Soowon needed was blood. Blood which Jaeha did not prepare in a bottle because they didn’t have time to quietly steal any without murder. He did, however, have blood in him. At the very least, he was prepared for that.

“Won, it would be easier if I don’t have to carry you. So I will slit my wrist. Do you think that would be enough blood for you to walk?” He asked, covering the vampire with his jacket.

Soowon nodded, his eyes wide, body physically trembling from withdrawal, but held himself still.

Jaeha took out a knife, slit his wrist, and gently held it in front of Soowon’s mouth. It wasn’t… the most dignified way for a vampire to feed, so Jaeha averted his eyes. 

When Soowon pulled away, there was some life back on his face. It was frightening, how easy it was for a vampire to regenerate. Jaeha tried not to think too hard about what that meant. Less for Joodoh to angst about. 

“Let’s go,” Soowon said, his voice steady, eyes focused. 

“Welcome back,” Jaeha smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned it's impossible to make blood sucking completely non-sexual so I'll just grind my teeth and bear it.


	5. Chapter 5

Soowon didn’t speak much on the ride back. Didn’t speak much as Joodoh filled him in on the status and whereabouts of the remaining Coven members.

“Elder Monduk and Guen-tae have been taking care of everything. For now, it would be best for us to lay low and stay out of sight. We’re still not sure who collaborated with Soojin.”

Soowon nodded, but gave no answer.

The silence continued on for the following two days. For the most part, Soowon just sat, still as a statue, in their temporary apartment. Whenever he noticed Jaeha or Joodoh looking at him, he’d pretend to flip through the newspaper or offer his help on chores. Attempts at conversations were met with short, stilted answers, to which Jaeha tried to fill the silence with his own voice. He wasn’t sure whether it was the right thing to do.

Soowon had never been a loud person in the past, but he has always had a large, bright presence. Now it felt like he was trying to make himself disappear, to occupy as little space as possible.

“There’s a lint on your shirt,” Jaeha tested, reaching forward. Soowon froze, completely and utterly still, but didn’t move away.

“There,” Jaeha said, picking the lint off. Soowon’s eyes continued to follow his hand.

“Thank you,” Soowon said, quietly, after a long pause.

Jaeha remembered Soowon, strapped to the operating table. Perhaps it was because defeat was a learnt mechanism.

According to Gigan, when they found Jaeha, he was flighty, and prone to panic. Vampires were physiologically different from humans. They have no tears, no need to breath, and doesn’t dream. Jaeha wasn’t sure whether that was better or worse.

With so little feedback, it was hard to figure out when Soowon needed grounding, and when he needed space.

* * *

“So, what now? Are you going to become a bloodsucker now? Make vampire babies? Do I have to go hunt you down?” Gigan asked.

“I don’t plan to. No… seriously I don’t.”

“You know… he might be sweet and innocent now, he might care about human lives. But he’s immortal. He’ll forget what it’s like to be human eventually. Besides, once you’re old and wrinkly, and he’s still a young and beautiful, you think he’d still love you? People will think you’re a pedophile. Or suppose he really loves you, you think he’s just gonna watch you succumb to your mortality?”

“Are you trying to convince me to become a vampire?”

“I’m just laying out your options.”

“Listen… we’re… not like that,” Jaeha said.

“You told me he was your lover.”

“No, I said I was in love with him.”

“He doesn’t even love you back…” said Gigan, who sounded like she was ready to give up all hopes in her adopted son.

“He does… Or… I think he does. Listen… it’s not… what this is about. I don’t need him to love me forever. I don’t even care if we stay together… It’s not like we’re getting married. I just…”

“You what?”

Jaeha remembered Soowon’s smile, the way his eyes lit up when they first met, and Jaeha told him about his travels.

“I just want him to be happy.”

There was silence, then, a long sigh from Gigan. “Guess I’ll have to get back all the wedding invitations.”

“Yeah… sorry,” Jaeha said with a laugh.  

“You idiot child.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

“Call me that again and I’ll cut your allowance.”

“I don’t even get any.”

* * *

Jeaha was telling Soowon about the wonders of Suiko desserts when Soowon suddenly said, “Thank you.”

Jaeha blinked.

“I’ve never thanked you for saving me. If it weren’t for you and Joodoh, I’d be dead or being…” he cut himself off, paused, and spoke again, “Thank you,” Soowon said, with an awkward half smile that Jaeha missed so dearly it was like a punch to the guts.

“Of course…” Jaeha answered, “I wouldn’t let you die.”

This was the wrong thing to say, as Soowon paused, then started apologizing.

“I’m sorry, I got you involved again, even though you already left.”

“I involved myself, Won.”

“You wouldn’t let me die. I… used your affection for me again.”

Jaeha drew in a deep breath. “You never manipulated me, Won. You didn’t plan for any of this to happen. And back then,  _I_  chose not to kill you.  _I_  chose not to leave.”

Soowon looked down, contemplated.

“I did learn a few things about myself in that lab,” he said, slowly, “Even without hypnosis, very few vampires can still draw people to them. Apparently I was… particularly powerful in that area. It was the reason there wasn’t any guards, and why I wasn’t allowed to speak unless spoken to. The first few researchers were manipulated by me just by being in the same room for an extended period of time. I didn’t know before… I was just…”

It made sense, in a way, the false sense of safety Soowon embodied, how easy the other vampires accepted his position in the coven despite him being so young, the reason humans like Joodoh remained so loyal to the Coven. The way Jaeha was willing to give up his own freedom to ensure Soowon’s safety, and felt like it was okay as long as Soowon smiled… It explained a lot of things. It was…  _wrong._

“You can’t trust anything they’ve said,” Jaeha interrupted, trying to keep his voice even, “even if they weren’t speaking to you. Even if you think it’s true. They were hurting you. You were delirious. How could they have known what they were talking about? How could they have known my feelings– _our_  feelings, the feelings of your Coven–better than ourselves?”

“They…” Soowon’s eyes flickered in confusion and distress, “they  _died_. They trusted me and I led them to their deaths. If I didn’t expand the Coven… If I was more prepared… I promised them immortality and sanctuary and home and now they’re being hunted down–”

“Won,” Jaeha interrupted, gently touching the side of Soowon’s shoulder, “I want to hold you right now. Would that be okay? You can say no.”

Soowon blinked. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He took a shuttering breath (habit of past-humanity) and nodded instead.

Jeaha wrapped his arms around Soowon, gently, and waited until Soowon relaxed.

“If you never turned Tae-yeon, he would be dead. If you never turned Keishuk, he would have died years ago. If you never expanded the Coven or acquired the hotel, the vampires of Shishen would have continued to rely on murder for survival. People like Minsoo and his mother would have been victims. I still don’t know whether what you did was right, but it was something your Coven, collectively, believed in. They  _chose_  to follow you. You can’t take that away from them.”

“Just like how,” He continued, “despite knowing who I was, you chose to be my friend.”

"Just like how I choose to be here right now.”

Soowon didn’t respond.

“Soowon, tell me. Do you regret meeting me?” It was a question Jaeha had asked himself, over and over, ever since they chose not to kill each other.

“…No,” answered Soowon, there was struggle in his voice, but no hesitance.

"Am I your friend?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?”

“…Yes.”

“And what do you want from me?”

“I… want you to be free. I want you to be happy.”

“To be in love with someone who loves me, who wants my freedom and happiness,” Jaeha tightened his arms around Soowon, just slightly, "I’m so happy.”

“I’ve hurt you,” said Soowon.

Jaeha remembered, the sense of suffocation, of restlessness. He couldn’t deny that.

“I will hurt you again,” Soowon said. It was a question, an uncertain warning. Jaeha remembered his conversation with Gigan. 

“No, you won’t,” Jaeha said, pressing a kiss to Soowon’s hair, “I won’t let you hurt me anymore.”

Soowon stood perfectly still for what seemed like an eternity, before letting out a broken, desperate wail and clung onto Jaeha like a lifeline. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I love you…” were whispered between a series of incoherent dry sobs.

Jeaha held on until the shaking stopped.


	6. Chapter 6

“When I was young, I was involved in a cult,” Jaeha begun. Soowon laid beside him, calm, quiet. He paused for a moment, giving Soowon a chance to interrupt him, and continued when Soowon didn't “I spent most of my days in my room, chained to a wall. They use to tell me that I was cursed, and that my only worth was to become a green dragon of some sort and wait for Hiryuu’s arrival… It was nonsense. But they were the people keeping me alive. When you have no power… what they tell you begin to sound like the truth.” 

“The Hiryuu cult… I knew about it. My uncle was a believer.” 

“Joodoh told me.” It was actually Keishuk that told him. Jaeha didn’t want to mention it. 

There was a long pause before Soowon spoke again. 

“I’m angry… at what happened to you… No. What they did to you.” 

Jaeha sighed with a bit of relief. Soowon’s empathy would make him acknowledge what happened to him.  

“I’m angry too, on what my… former colleagues has done to you.” _On all the things I’ve done, things i’ve turned a blind eye to, in the past._ He ran his hand through Soowon’s hair in a calming manner.  

“I’ve done the same to you,” said Soowon, eyes closed, a slight frown on his brows, “I took away your freedom.” 

Jaeha sighed again. It wasn’t something that was going away. Their friendship started in the wrong situation, and neither of them would forget it. 

“I wont’ make any excuses for you, but you made an effort to respect my identity and my humanity. I appreciate that.” 

There was another pause before Soowon started again. 

“I was… adopted by my maker at the age of 6,” Soowon said, his voice was lighter this time, almost detached, “my cousin and I lost our parents to the war. These vampires took us in.” 

“They were very kind to us. One of the two leaders of the coven, Yuhon, took me as his son. His brother, Il, took Yona as his daughter. I’ve always been told that once I turned 18, my father would make me a vampire.” 

"I suppose, when I was young, I never quite identified as a human. I helped with the hunt, I watched my father prey on other humans and assisted with the clean-up. I even drank blood once in a while, I was told it’d help me get accustomed to the process. As far as I could comprehend, I was… always a vampire.” 

He paused then, unsure if he was welcomed to continue. Jaeha hummed softly, and shifted into a more comfortable position, letting his arm wrap naturally around Soowon’s back. 

“There were other humans in the Coven back then as well… Joodoh, Keishuk, our friend Hak who was adopted by Elder Mundoek. Elder Mundoek never planned to turn him. There needed to be human look-outs during the day time.” 

“As a human child, I wasn’t fully nocturnal. It wasn’t long before I started sneaking off before sundown to mingle with the town-folks. That was how I met Minsoo and his mother. She made amazing sweets, and that wasn’t something Joodoh nor the vampires could do.” 

“One day, my father found Minsoo’s mother as our target. I asked him not to kill her. I told him that Minsoo was my friend. I thought I had to beg, or that he would chastise me for making friends outside of the Coven. He didn’t do any of that, just laughed and asked me to pick a new target, one that I didn’t like as much.” 

“I picked a random person I didn’t know. But it made me wonder, maybe they could have been nice and interesting, maybe they could have been like Minsoo and his mother. The only difference between Minsoo’s mother and our prey was the fact that I liked her."

"I started asking questions. What made Joodoh and Keishuk different from our prey? What made  _me_  different from them? Why were some vampires treated differently? Why was Hak treated differently?” 

“Father told me that I was different, because I was his son. Vampires or humans, ultimately they’re just people, and amongst people, there were family, friends, prey, and enemies. If someone isn’t amongst the former two categories, then they must belong in the latter.” 

“I never thought about my own humanity back then, or thought of becoming a vampire as a choice. Not until expanding the Coven meeting more humans.”

“I really appreciate you telling me that you valued your humanity. I’ve never really… known what it was like, I suppose.” 

Soowon had a light, hesitant smile on his face. Jaeha didn’t know what to make of it. He wasn’t sure if Soowon’s story was kind or cruel. 

“What happened to Hak and Yona?” Jaeha asked, before he could think twice. He should have thought twice, because Soowon’s smile dropped. 

“I don’t know…” Soowon said, “Uncle Il had a fight with my father. My father killed him. I don’t know what happened to them.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jeaha said. 

“I wanted things to be different…” Soowon said, slowly at first, "I wanted things to change… With the Coven…” He drew a shuddering breath, shoulder tightened around himself once more. Jaeha placed a steadying hand on Soowon’s shoulder. 

“It will change,” Jaeha said. He didn’t want Soowon to be hurt again, but neither did he want to see anyone else in their place. 

When their eyes met again, Jaeha saw fire in Soowon’s. 

* * *

“You still need to lay low for now, though,” Jaeha said, later. 

“I know,” answered Soowon, voice too serious, too determined. 

“We should go to Paris.” 

“What?”

“Paris, we should go. City of looooo-“

“Why?”

“You wanted to travel, didn’t you? The Coven doesn’t need you right now. We should go.”

Soowon blinked, considered it carefully, before his eyes lit up like the starry sky, “yeah, we should.” 

* * *

Later that night, after Joodoh found the pair curled up against each other on the bed... 

“No! None of us speaks French and there is no way to avoid the sun on a flight across timezones. Have you even thought this through?” Snapped Joodoh. 

“I can pretend to be dead and get shipped in a coffin.”

“No!” Joodoh pinched his nosebridge. “Why don’t we go somewhere closer, Xing.”

“Uhh…” said Jaeha, “that’s where the hunter’s headquarters is.”

“It’s what?” Joodoh and Soowon said in unison.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,” Jaeha cringed. 

“Okay then… Kai…” 


End file.
